alexist

Neil has helpfully brought in my laptop, so I can type this all up while I still remember it :-)

Wednesday evening, I went into Barnet Hospital. At the time, I didn't think I'd be staying. I thought the pains I was having might be mild contractions, but I was expecting to be told one of two things: 1) It's early labour, go home and come back when they're stronger; 2) it's nothing yet. I just wanted to know which it was. I thought I'd be poked and have my cervix looked at--home in a couple of hours.

No such luck! I got sent to the day unit (fine). I was hooked up to monitors. The baby was fine; I was showing regular uterine activity--either pre-labour or early labour. OK. The midwife couldn't do a good exam, so she did a scan--all fine. Then she checked my cervix--OW!! No dilation. I was thinking, back home. Unfortunately, she did blood tests and didn't like the results. I finally managed to produce a urine sample. Ooops. I was told to go to Victoria Ward at 19:40 and the doctor would review me.

After an hour's wait, the Senior House Officer (=resident to Americans) said my urine was +4 protein (bad) and they wanted me to stay overnight and do a 24 hour urine collection. Neil went home to fetch some things, and was eventually kicked out by the midwives ;)

Thursday was boring: I had my BP taken every couple of hours (all borderline high, but normal for me) and had the baby monitored. Since I hadn't begun my collection till 23:00, "overnight" actually meant 2 nights. I asked the midwife on duty when I'd be sent home and she said "they should send you home Friday morning". Great! I was raring to go. The hospital is boring. :-)

Friday morning, I get told no chance of leaving until I get reviewed. Blah. The registrar (=senior resident/fellow) said she'd ask the consultant if I could go home to wait, but she didn't sound optimistic as my blood tests weren't what they wanted to see. Then, "you have to wait for your collection to be analysed.... hopefully today". Meanwhile, the periodic dips they'd done were still +3 protein (meaning possible pre-eclampsia). I was very grouchy and felt like there was nothing wrong with me so why were they keeping me there? Also, it would be nice to actually talk to the consultant.... ha ha.

At 15:30 or so, back on the CTG. This time, baby's heart too fast--I got kept on for ages as they tried to work out if it was distress or just a hyperactive baby. The urine collection results came back--stinking full of protein. The SHO on duty came by, and said I was looking at an induction, depending on the state of my cervix etc--they'd decide in the morning when the consultant came on duty. She tried a membrane sweep, but, er, I sort of screamed. Ooops.

Next thing I know, the SHO comes back, says she's talked to the consultant on duty and he thinks I need a Caesarean, now. I ring Neil who had stopped to get my stuff and tell him what's going on.


Soon after he arrived (a little after 18:00), I got transferred to the operating theatre. I was examined and prodded by a very nice anaesthetist, who stuck an epidural in my back. He said he hadn't been able to do a CSE (combined spinal and epidural, and I'm not sure what the difference is) but the epidural seemed to be working nicely. Sure enough, my legs gradually went numb, and they did the surgery. At 19:58, the baby was born! Beautiful baby girl! I didn't get to hold her straight away but Neil did and started cooing. Eventually they weighed her: 3.657 kg (8lb, 1oz) and 52cm (21").

It's funny, I'd prepared myself not to find the baby cute at first because newborns can be red and wrinkly and take some time to get adorable but even with the goo on, she was gorgeous :-) Nice head of hair, though that will go soon and then we'll find out her real hair colour. She has big dark blue eyes, same as I did when I was born.


Afterwards was the downsides of a section. If I'd had the choice I would have done it normally--I can't believe women choose this out of convenience!! Sure, it's done in 2.5 hours and you don't feel a thing... while it's being done. The aftermath is a different matter. Even after the epidural wears off (and for a section, it's a full block, legs like stones for hours) you can't move around, you're on a catheter, and the stitches mean you can't pick baby up or put it down. This is not good on the NHS, because the midwives have to spend their time helping women in labour--they don't have the time to help you that much. I rang the bell because she needed her diaper changed and to be put down to sleep. Someone came in, apologised, said everyone was busy and they'd help me ASAP--I was left for 2 hours :/ I did manage to read The Economist one handed whilst cuddling though.

(Obviously, it had to be done this way and I'm grateful for modern medicine et cetera--just words of caution to anyone who thinks a Caesarean is the "easy" option! I'd rather have the pain in birth--or the length anyway since you can have drugs--and be able to fully enjoy the baby after.)

Unfortunately, Aliza was only happy when I was holding her--putting her down made her scream. I tried to resist but ended up holding her again--finally at 4am I steeled myself, said she had to get used to sleeping without being held (no safe alternative to the bassinet anyway) and made her cry :( :( I did keep stroking her to reassure her, but it only helped a bit. I managed to get some sleep, finally.

I spent the night stuck in the delivery recovery room because they thought I was dehydrated; finally I started passing urine, and was transferred back to the maternity ward (post-natal bay this time) this morning.

So far, feeding isn't entirely successful--she latched on properly the first time, but afterwards she'd been busy screaming, so when I held her to feed, she'd realise "oh, actually, I'm tired" and just drop off! I'm hoping that now that she's had some sleep I'll have more success. I put her down 45 minutes ago and after half an hour's fussing she stopped. (Even if I'd been willing to give up, there was no one handy to pick her up and hand her to me, so she had to cry. Sorry sweetie!!)

With luck I'll be home Monday (yay). First relatives' visit tomorrow. I look fabulous, I tell you. Hospital gown (patented back gap, but thankfully you can only see the front!), very messy hair because I haven't been able to wash it since coming in, general air of disarray.

The result was worth it all though :-) Family ecstatic, grandmother has phoned half of New York and a good slice of Boca Raton, Neil's parents coming tomorrow.

Pictures to follow, Neil is posting this for me when he gets home :)


(17:15)
Aliza has jaundice :-( I was thinking that she was a bit sleepy but the midwife said that's normal for the first 24 hours. She also wasn't sucking well. Finally, I noticed that she looked yellow--and the midwife did as well. Heel test, too much bilirubin :-(

Lots of newborns develop jaundice, but if it's in the first 24 hours it's considered abnormal, as opposed to the sort that appears at 3-4 days and can clear up on its own. (OK, points to Dr Sears here, who explained it well and made good use of his gung-ho pro-breastfeeding stance.) So Aliza's off to NICU for tests :-( Hopefully they'll get my catheter out soon so I can visit her and try to keep the feeding up. If that doesn't work, of course, I can pump (boob nazi status raised to "serious" :) ), but I really want to establish a good routine early and it's that much harder when the baby is in NICU and not next to your bed. I know she'll be fine as it was spotted straight away and they can get her under the lamps, so it's just upsetting being separated :-(

(18:55)
Gah, they've had to give Aliza formula :-( I did not want that, but they said she needed to eat and my colostrum isn't enough. I would have liked more information (I've heard of too many cases where formula was rushed in) but agreed because she's ill. they're giving her Aptamil as that's closest to breast milk. If she needs any more before my milk comes in (and that may be delayed a little as I didn't give birth naturally) I'm going to insist on being allowed to feed her with a cup. It will be a royal PITA, but at least I won't have the double whammy of formula and nipple confusion.

I want her back here next to me damnit not stuck in NICU :-( Neil's gone to check on her; the midwife says if she has to stay they'll wheel me in.

I have at least got rid of the catheter, washed up and hobbled out of bed for a bit--I feel better.


(21:10)
This is eldar writing... the jaundice is being caused by a blood-type difference. Aliza is being kept in the NICU overnight, where they'll keep monitoring her. Hopefully by the morning we'll know more and mother and baby can be re-united. I wheeled Alexis over there just before I left so she could see Aliza; she was sleeping peacefully.