alexist

I come down to a "While You Were Out" card saying a package was too big for our letterbox.

1) the time on the card was 7:00. We were home. There is a buzzer clearly marked "Flat 2" outside our front door.

2) Nothing is checked on the back, so I have no idea whether it's being redelivered or I have to pick it up.

3) Finchley Church End Delivery Office is open 0700 - 1230 weekdays and is 3/4 mile away which is not convenient walking distance at the moment.

First, there's Zoe. On the plus side, she's alert and this morning she surprised both of us by coming in from the living room and getting on the bed--we thought that without the use of one leg she wouldn't be able to do it.

On the other side, she's not moving from place to place much (though I keep reminding myself that she's always been capable of spending hours in one spot), she's not eating or drinking much (I'm keeping an eye on this; could be the post-vet sulk, and I did put her in front of her water earlier and she drank some), and she's breathing really heavily, which is the most worrying thing. She's seeing the vet again Tuesday. I hope she's all right to travel to Devon with us next week.

So now instead of just moving Aliza and her things from bedroom to living room, it's Aliza + cat + mutual acoutrements (including food). I'm just too paranoid and nervous at the moment. This really hasn't been a good year so far for me and animals, has it?! :(

On top of that, Aliza's being fussy and her afternoon feeding pattern seems to be "little and often" which is a pain with formula.

(ooh, Zoe just jumped off the sofa and went into the bathroom [where her litter box is], that's good at least.)

I did take Aliza out in her pram today. We went to the newsagents. Woo. Naturally, they were out of the Independent so Neil will have to get it for me anyway :/ Tomorrow we'll go to the delivery office if Royal Mail don't redeliver (I've realised the 326 towards Brent Cross stops right near it, so I don't have to worry about walking there and back) and the supermarket. I forgot to ring the surgery at 8:30, so I'll do it tomorrow, and go Friday. At least we now live within walking distance of the doctor's. I also have to ask about our 6 week checkups. I got the slip for Aliza's but it's from our old GP, so I have to ask. She also has a hospital appointment Tuesday. It didn't say what for but I'm assuming that it's a follow up since she was in NICU--the consultant's name looks familiar. It's for Children's Outpatients, so that's not much of a clue. Neil's off all next week so I don't have to get her to the hospital, at least--though I will on the 21st for her hip scan. (Because she was breech so late in pregnancy, and my sister had dislocated hips and had braces, she needs to be screened.)

The flat's a mess and I'm tired. I'm almost glad that the woman giving me a lift to today's NCT get-together got ill and had to cancel. (Unfortunately, of the 13 women in our group, 3 [including me] live in Finchley, and everyone else is in Barnet and Borehamwood! So I'm in the wrong direction to get lifts. Just coincidence, but awkward for me since I'm not allowed to drive right now. The other woman in my area was a week overdue last week, so she's either just delivered or is being induced now.)

Zoe started gasping a little, and she's crying, and I don't like the way she sounds. I called the vet and they said to bring her back in. So as soon as Neil gets home that's what we'll do :(

I'm crying my eyes out :-(

She was gasping and choking and I knew it was the end, I've known for an hour now but I didn't want this, I didn't want her to die on my floor in pain :-(

A week ago I was expecting years with her, years more of combing fluff off and getting kneaded in bed and sat on and begged for ice-cream. Not this. Not for her to die in front of me before her 6th birthday :-( She was such a good cat... I'm going to be lonely without her :-(