alexist

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from weirdjews

GREEN EGGS AND WHAT?
The National Education Association is celebrating "Read Across America" by encouraging adults to read to children. Of course, Green Eggs and Ham is one of the most popular Dr. Seuss books. And, there's the dilemma. How can Jewish kids celebrate with green Eggs and HAM? So, in honor of (and with apologies to the estate of) Dr. Seuss here's a new ending for the story:

Will you never see?
They are not KOSHER, So let me be!
I will not eat green eggs and ham.
I will not eat them, Sam-I-am
But I'll eat green eggs with a biscuit!
Or I will try them with some brisket.
I'll eat green eggs in a box.
If you serve them with some lox.
And those green eggs are worth a try
Scrambled up in matzo brie!
And in a boat upon the river,
I'll eat green eggs with chopped liver!
So if you're a Jewish Dr. Seuss fan,
But troubled by green eggs and ham,
Let your friends in on the scoop:
Green eggs taste best with chicken soup!

AND........

Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream is now available in Israel...

In the following flavors:

Wailing Walnut
Moishmellow
Mazel Toffee
Oy Ge-malt
Mi Ka-mocha
Bernard Malamint
Berry Pr'i Hagafen
Choc-Eilat Chip
and finally (drum roll, please).........
Simchas T'oreo

She took Abby to the vet and now she has new arthritis medicine. She's much happier--going up and down the stairs now, which she wouldn't do unless she had to. Gooood girl! I know my Abby--you could tell it wasn't too bad; she still wanted to run after the squirrels, but when she tried, she'd realize it hurt, and stop.

Also, her eyes are a little cloudy but it's not serious yet. She'll keep going for a little while. :) (She'll be 13 in April, which is a good age for a golden.) I told Mom to give her a kiss and tell her she's still my best girl.

And before you say it--yes, I am a tragically soppy pet owner.

I've spent a good chunk of the evening clearing piles of stuff off the table in the living room. You know, we might be able to eat off it sometime this year...